Now that you’re embracing the reality of your child growing up, you notice that the roles are shifting and you’re feeling less needed.
Reality is setting in and it suddenly feels like you have no idea what you’re doing anymore. It turns out, things just aren’t that simple once your children grow up.
You believe in the sanctimony of motherhood.
It’s been really important for you to be a rock for your kids, even if you didn’t necessarily have that when you were their age. This is one of the reasons you told yourself it was OK to put your dreams on the back-burner.
Looking back, you realize that you let those dreams slip really far away. You’re struggling to reconcile who you are, now that your kids are turning into adults. Yet, on your worst days, it feels like you’ve put yourself in an impossible place of choosing between your passions and being a good mom.
Well, I’m here to tell you it’s not too late.
Your age and dedication to your family don’t have to overshadow all that you have to offer the world.
It’s time to make space for you.
Hi! I’m Marti, and there’s one thing I know for sure about therapy: it’s not one-size fits all.
In fact, the way you experience therapy should be like the way you take your coffee, refreshing, comforting, and tailored to your needs.
Sometimes your identity gets so wrapped up in raising children, that as you become less of a priority - you start to feel empty and lost.
When your kids become more independent, you feel as though you are less needed by them. And that sucks, since you’ve built your life around their needs for what feels like the past 100 years.
A lack of purpose shouldn’t invalidate all you’ve done for your family or all that you still have left to contribute. It simply means you need to better understand the difference between over-parenting and overstepping, and start listening to what your children really need from you as they age.
This sense of imbalance can really get under your skin. And you feel ashamed that you’re reacting so poorly to something you should’ve seen coming .
But the truth is, letting go is really hard.
It’s normal for moms to feel a huge shift in their identity as their children leave home.
Even though you feel anxious now, it doesn’t have to keep you from living a meaningful life. Instead, all of the time you’ve spent taking care of other people can now be spent on yourself.
It’s your turn to revisit your goals and dreams and make them reality.
And that’s where I come in…
As a Clinical Social Worker, I help middle aged moms go from anxious and unsure to feeling secure and in control.
I do this by moving you through parenting/life transitions, targeting unhelpful thoughts and beliefs, and working with you to create a toolbox of strategies that you can use during more difficult moments.
When I work with moms of older children, I incorporate relational therapy, CBT, narrative therapy, and mindfulness to help them regain a sense of purpose and improve their quality of life. I’m passionate about helping you become the best version of yourself, and I believe that with the right tools, you can live a meaningful life surrounded by people who appreciate you and respect your needs.
Does this sound familiar?
Perhaps you’ve noticed, as your teenager is becoming more independent, that there is a lot more tension in your home, and it’s making you really irritable. You’ve tried to remember what it was like when you were that age, but it can be difficult to relate when they are constantly pushing every button. You’re looking for ways to maintain a connected sense of family while respecting your kid’s space. When you schedule a session with me, we will help you identify the triggers for your anger so you can express and manage it in a more helpful way:
Or maybe it’s the fact that your child is an adult and still doesn’t have it together. You want to help them, but you don’t know where to draw the line - or how. You’ve tried to motivate them and connect them with resources, but for some reason they just don’t want to hear it. You’re looking to manage your own anxiety about this, thinking about whether or not you’ve been a good mom, and wondering how you can start moving forward in your own life despite your child’s struggles. When you schedule with me, we will work on setting boundaries and all of the conflicting emotions that come out when you detach from your child:
Sometimes, when you look around in an empty house you can experience a sense of loss/grief. You try to keep busy with work and you fill your social schedule, but when you come home, the house is still quiet and you can’t help but feel there is something missing. You’re having a hard time embracing your new sense of freedom, and you desperately want to be able to make the most out of these child-free years. When you schedule a session with me, we will help you define how you want to spend your time and process the reality of this new stage of life, while still remaining connected to your family: