Therapy for Moms of Emerging Adults

 
 
 

There’s a huge part of you that wants your freedom. But there’s another part that feels like you don’t deserve it.

Like most moms, you struggled to keep your head on straight when you were raising teenagers. Although you had your hands full with the theatrics, hormones, and the attitude roller coasters, you assumed they’d eventually grow up.

You had a completely different idea of what life would look like when your children turned 18. But the fact that you are still functioning as a full-time mom to a 20-something-year-old is holding you back.

You are completely ready to move on from being a full-time parent, but your child's lack of direction is keeping you from claiming your freedom.

If you want to experience the empty nest, you know that you need to set boundaries and allow your children the chance to learn things the hard way. Though, when it comes to enforcing limits, you feel guilty and cave.

You weren’t always this hopeless.

If your children were struggling when they were younger, you were able to provide them with support. In fact, you even felt reassured when they leaned on you for answers.

Yet somewhere along the way you started to second guess yourself. You started to question how good of a mom you’ve been. With each day that your adult child slams the door on you in your own house, the more insecure you feel. And you find that you might not be able to help your kid through the difficult decisions that need to be made, you remember that they are in the driver’s seat.

Now you’re afraid that you don’t have the answers and you fear that you may never achieve the empty nest.

What used to seem like a perfectly predictable roadmap has led you to realize you are lost in the woods.

That’s not to say that you thought life was always perfect. We’re all prone to the challenges that shape us, and you are no exception. But you never thought you’d be stuck in this waiting game forever.

What you didn’t expect was how you could feel such resentment toward your child. You never predicted you’d be so impatient, uncertain, and anxious. You had no idea you would wish you had more control over the situation. And you certainly didn’t anticipate the uncertainty to keep you at arms length of a new and exciting stage of life.

Parenting An Emerging Adult: When you seek psychotherapy with Marti Weiler, LCSW

  • You will start to process and accept that parenting an adult has been different than what you expected.

  • You will better understand the conflicts within your family relationships and explore how they have impacted you as a mom.

  • You will explore new ways of setting boundaries, and identify the role you play in the current conflicts at hand.

  • You will better understand what triggers your anxiety and anger, and learn how to cope with these feelings and respond to them.

  • You will discover new ways to motivate your children to find their path without neglecting your needs or sacrificing your freedom.

Parenting An Emerging Adult: The Process

This therapeutic approach is intended to help you better navigate this stage of parenting so you can explore what it’s like not being a full-time mom anymore.

Together, you and I will work through these difficult feelings in order to face and embrace new challenges.

We will meet online, every week for 50 minute sessions for a minimum of 6-8 weeks, and you will start to regain a sense of confidence in yourself.

Here’s what to expect:

Technology: Like traditional therapy, talking online is face-to-face and sessions are kept confidential by using an encrypted HIPAA compliant platform. As long as you have a front facing camera on your phone, tablet, or computer, you can take advantage of online counseling. Most clients appreciate the ease of access, avoiding commute time, parking issues, having to take time out of work and/or finding child care.

Consult: In our free 20 minute consultation I’ll aim to get a sense of what is going on for you and how you can best be helped. I’ll let you know if I think that therapy would be useful. We’ll get a good sense of each other when we talk, which will help us to know if I’m the best fit for you. By the end, we’ll decide together if moving on to a full assessment is the best next step.

Intake: Our first session will consist of an intake assessment. Think of it as a mental health check up. I’ll ask you a lot of questions and get a good sense of who you are and how you might be helped. I will also offer recommendations for treatment. The intake is an opportunity to learn more about yourself and about the process of therapy. Typically, by the end of the first or second session, we will have established a clear set of treatment goals and a plan about how to best meet them. The first session is not a commitment to therapy. You can choose to proceed or not. If you decide to move forward, the therapeutic relationship begins after the intake assessment is complete.

More About Marti

As a Clinical Social Worker, I help you move through middle-aged parenting conflicts by targeting patterns of behavior and working with you to create to a toolbox of new skills that you can use to challenge unhelpful thoughts and belief systems.

I help moms of emerging adults go from feeling angry and uncertain to feeling grounded and secure.

When I work with moms of older children, I pull from a toolbox of interventions that stem from relational therapy, CBT, narrative therapy, and mindfulness to help them recognize that wanting their own space and freedom is not shameful.

I’m passionate about helping you become the best version of yourself, and I believe that with the right tools, you can live a meaningful life while your children find their way.

You can read more about my training and specialties here.

Parenting Through Emerging Adulthood: Who Benefits Most

Therapy for moms of emerging adults is best for those who are struggling with both parenting and letting go of their adult child.

You will benefit from this type of support if:

  • Your child is no longer a high school student, but is not progressing toward adulthood.

  • You want to have more freedom but you are feeling stuck between a rock and a hard place.

  • You are feeling insecure as a parent and want to find a more effective way to deal with the challenges of having an emerging adult under your roof.

There are times when this therapeutic approach is not the best fit. These include:

  • Your child is a high school student and is not respecting you or the house rules. If this is the case, CLICK HERE.

  • Your children have all left the home and are living on their own and you’re struggling to adapt to this new lifestyle. If this sounds like you, CLICK HERE.

Although there are many benefits of online therapy, it is not always a good match for everyone. If you are interested in learning more and want to know if online therapy is the right fit for you, feel free to submit a contact form or email marti@martiweiler.com.

Therapy for Parents of Emerging Adults: Investment

Initial Consultation - 20 minutes - FREE
Intake - 90 Minutes - $240
Individual Psychotherapy - 50 Minutes - $160

I accept payment by credit card through the client portal in TheraNest.

Insurance: I am an out-of-network provider. This means that I do not bill insurance companies directly. If your insurance company will pay for services for providers who are out-of-network, I can give you a receipt for your services with the required information. Depending on your benefits and plan, you may be able to get a portion of your fee reimbursed. I make no guarantees about the level of reimbursement you may receive. Please contact your insurance company directly to find out more. If needed, I can provide you with a list of questions to ask your insurer out about your benefits. It is the client’s responsibility to research this information prior to beginning therapy.

How can I schedule a session?: I offer online sessions to anyone who is a resident of New York State or Virginia. Click the following button to request an online consultation:


Your Next Steps

It is possible to move forward with your life without feeling responsible for your child’s progress.

You will be better able to manage family dynamics and set appropriate boundaries so that everyone in the household feels respected. You will also see that you can evolve with your children as they age, so that you can start living your best life as an empty nester.

Right now, finally having your home to yourself and the time to pursue your passions feels far off, but that doesn’t mean you can’t start addressing the frustration you feel with your adult child still at home, and find ways to motivate them to live on their own.

Ultimately, you’ll find a way to encourage your children without enabling them, and start seeing the many ways in which having adult children can be exciting and meaningful for everyone.